


HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 5 Fills

by mevious



Series: HSWC 2014 [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1959357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mevious/pseuds/mevious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This round's theme was quotes.</p><p>CHAPTER 1 PROMPT:<br/>Latula♥Mituna and Latula♥Kankri</p><p>"I could never divorce you<br/>Without a good reason<br/>And though I may never have to<br/>It's good to have options"</p><p>But for now, I need you" - Pedro the Lion, "Options"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Latula/Mituna

When Kankri comes over for the fourth time this week, he and Latula sit you down to have a little talk. You know exactly what they want to talk about, but you can't get out the words to say you already know. This must have been Kankri's idea; Latula wouldn't talk to you like this. Slow and steady just to make sure you understand, but no, you understood before they even started talking, why is he talking so goddamn much? You're starting to get a headache. It's probably because you're angry. Angry with him for sitting you down like this. Angry with Tulip for letting him do it. 

He's telling you that he and Latula -- your Tulip! -- are in seeing each other. You want to ask what that means, but you're already all too aware of what that means. You know exactly what's happening here and you think you must be offended that they presumed to think you didn't notice already. Your headache is starting to get worse. For a moment, you're afraid you might start sparking, but then you remember -- you can't spark anymore. That's why he has to talk slow and with small words, because he thinks just because you can't spark anymore, you're some kind of idiot, some kind of moron --

By the time Kankri stops talking, you still haven't said a word. You aren't even looking at him. You're staring at Latula from behind your helmet's visor, and she knows you are. You know she knows, because she tells Kankri to go away and let her do the talking, except that she's nicer than that, and she kisses his forehead before he goes, and you want to cry, because she does it just like how she does to you, just like how she's always done when you hurt yourself and everything sucks and she wants to make it better. You don't cry, though. If you cry, she'll cry too, and you don't want to see her cry.

"Listen, Tunez..." she says, but you shake your head. You shake it probably too hard, because you come away from the whole experience feeling dizzy.

"I knowsth. He's not-not-- damaged," you manage to say. It's difficult, and you say it slow because it's a struggle to get out words that make any sense sometimes. But it's out there, and you swear you can hear her heart break.

"No! That's not it," she says, but her resolve is weak. That's it and you know it. 

"Are we-we gonna break up?" you ask. Another struggle, especially with the tears threatening to fall as much as you really don't want them to.

"No, see, that's just it!" She's smiling, hoping that it's going to make you smile, too. "I don't want us to break up. I love you. It's just..." You wait. You're not sure you want to hear what she has to say next, and you definitely don't trust in the words she just said, especially after Vantas' spiel.

"Look, Tunez, I don't wanna ditch you like that. We're rad together and you know it. But sometimes it's nice, you know? To have options. I won't keep it up if it's not chill with you, okay?" Lie. She'll just hide it better. You appreciate the sentiment, you guess. "It's totes nice to have options, but for now I need you. This is about your comfort level." No it's not. You know it's not, or at least you think it's not, but you guess it's not about that.

"What-whatever makesth you ha-happy, Tulip." You smile, and you try to make this little heart with your hands but it turns out kind of looking like a dick and you laugh at that. She laughs too, and she makes the little heart sign, but hers is better. Way better. You think for a second that things are going to be okay. That she's not slipping out of your grasp like she should have sweeps ago. You try to hold onto this hope. It's all you have left.

She's all you have left.


	2. Auto-Responder/Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Auto-Responder (Hal)/Roxy
> 
> "[sarcastically] That's right... I'm a gay robot." Church, Red VS Blue

\-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --

TT: Hey, princess.   
TT: I've got a question for you.   
TG: ok shoot   
TT: If I ever get a body, will you go out with me?   
TG: what do u mean   
TT: I mean if Dirk ever caves and hooks me up with some chassis with a little more substance than these shades, will you go out with me?   
TG: lol omg    
TT: What? I'm being serious here.   
TG: i kno thats the part thts funny   
TT: Why is it funny?    
TG: cuz like   
TG: if dirk makes u a body or w/e   
TG: why would u even want 2 go out w me   
TT: Why wouldn't I? You're gorgeous. We have fun together. We get along. What more can a self-aware artificial intelligence program ask for?   
TG: awww ur so sweet <333   
TG: but like   
TG: arent u into dudes IRL   
TG: cuz dirks into dudes and ur like   
TG: part dirk   
TT: It seems you're equating me to Dirk again. We've had this talk.   
TG: sry :(   
TT: But to answer your question, yes. I am totally a gay robot.    
TT: Oh, Mr. English, rub your throbbing cock on my smooth metallic chassis.   
TG: lol ok i know sarcasm when i see it   
TT: What? Sarcasm? Me?   
TT: It seems you underestimate my burning desire for pure raw penis.   
TG: omfg hal u dork   
TT: It seems you're calling me a dork.   
TT: What a hypocrite you are, Ms. Lalonde.   
TG: lmfao always ;)   
TG: but 4 real tho i thought this was just   
TG: u know   
TG: an online thing cuz were bros 4 lyfe   
TT: If that's what you want it to be, then that's exactly what it is.   
TG: what do YOOOOU want it 2 b   
TT: Like I said. I want to go out with you.   
TT: I like you, Roxy. A lot.   
TT: I'm pretty sure computer programs don't have sexual orientations anyway.   
TT: And even if I did, I'm pretty sure you would have changed that by now, what with your sultry cunning and all. Wonk.   
TG: aw yeah i got mad stax chock FULL o sultry cunning ;)))   
TT: Of course.   
TG: jake english cant hold a candle 2 this hot bod   
TG: even if he does make a better lara croft than me   
TT: That's debatable.   
TG: no its not omg   
TG: jake is the best tomb raider ever 2 raid tombs   
TT: Fair enough.   
TT: So what do you say, princess?   
TG: hallll u dont even kno if dirk will make u a body ever   
TT: So?   
TG: muhh idk   
TG: ask again l8r   
TT: How much later?   
TG: how about when u actually have a body :P   
TT: But you never know, Rox. I could be gay by then.   
TG: omfg shut up u loser    
TG: imma go make me a much needed drink   
TG: lates <3   
TT: <3

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --

You pull back slightly from your computer and drop your hands to your sides. It's no small feat; you're still getting your sea-legs in the new chassis. You read and re-read the conversation you just had. You wonder if you should have just told her. Would she have said yes then? You tell yourself that it doesn't matter. 

You don't think you'll be asking her again later.


	3. Kurloz/Meulin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurloz/Meulin or Kurloz♦Mituna
> 
> "You don't want to hurt me,  
> But see how deep the bullet lies.  
> Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.  
> There is thunder in our hearts, baby.  
> So much hate for the ones we love?  
> Tell me, we both matter, don't we?"
> 
> \- Kate Bush, "Running Up That Hill"  
> (also see Placebo cover)

She kisses you, but it's careful. More careful than it ever was before, at any rate. She doesn't want to hurt you. What she doesn't realize is that the damage is already done. She won't kiss you the way she used to, and you don't want any more of her careful kisses. She's walking on eggshells and you can see it. You can see what this is doing to her, even if she insists she's fine and that you're going to be fine. You don't believe her. How could you believe her when her kiss is always so motherfucking careful?

She doesn't want to hurt you, but the damage is done. Your matespritship has taken a bullet straight to the heart, and no amount of surgery is going to fix that. You look at her and frown, and you can't say anything because not only have you taken a vow of silence, but she's deaf. She's deaf and it's your fault. You let out a sigh through your nose. It's quiet, but she notices, and tilts her head at you. "What's wrong? she asks, her little kitty mouth drooping like she's sad.

:WE CAN'T KEEP MOTHERFUCKING DOING THIS.: Your return signs are quick and curt, and she's slow on the uptake because hey, you're both still new to this and you haven't exactly mastered it yet. At least she hasn't. Your learning curve is a little higher than hers.

"What? Are mew breaking up with me?" Her voice sounds distraught, not to mention loud and off-kilter since she can't hear herself.

You nod in response. :IT'S FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING BEST.: Your signs probably aren't very assuring, but you hope she gets the point. 

"How could it be fur the best if you're breaking my heart?" she whines. You hate it when she whines.

:YOU AREN'T DIGGING THIS JAM ANYMORE, KITTYBITCH. IT'S MOTHERFUCKING OBVIOUS.: It hurts you to say so, but you do anyway, because it's true. Your heart feels like it's been struck by lightning, and you can almost hear the thunder rolling from your chest just like it's doing from hers.

"How could you pawsibly know that? I still care about you!" You snarl at that. You know, of course, that she still cares about you, but it's not the same anymore. She doesn't see you as her equal. She sees you as damaged.

:SHIT'S DONE UP AND MOTHERFUCKING CHANGED, MY WICKED KITTYBITCH. AIN'T NO CAUSE FOR TO KEEP SHIT ROLLING.:

She opens her mouth to say something else, but you shake your head. You raise your hand to put a finger to her lips, and she does something unexpected. She flinches, as though you're going to hurt her.

You kind of hate her in that moment. You've never hurt her before, not before the nightmare. You sigh, dropping your hands to your sides, and you realize something. You don't need to be in a quadrant with her to make use of her. You have chucklevoodoos for that.


	4. Caliborn/Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caliborn♠Jane
> 
> Abuse me confuse me drink me do me  
> Come with me so's that I'm not alone  
> \-- Love and Rockets, Use Me

Jane's first instinct when she woke up bored on a Saturday had been to call Roxy, and that's exactly what she had done. Roxy hadn't answered. She'd tried Dirk immediately after, and when he didn't answer, she'd even tried Jake, with whom things had been awkward for some time after the whole failed-love-confession thing. Alas, even his line ended with a pre-recorded message saying that he was unable to come to the phone right then and to please leave a message. 

Sighing, she logged onto her pesterchum from her phone, though she opted to stay in bed. She didn't feel like getting up or getting dressed just yet; what was the point? She wasn't going anywhere. All of her friends were busy, as they tended to be on weekends. It was probably pointless, too, to log onto pesterchum, considering that she only really used it to talk to her friends, all of whom were -- you guessed it -- busy today.

She stayed logged in for a few minutes, though it was to no effect. Of course no one was messaging her. No one was online. She was just about to log off, too, when she finally did get a message, though this one was not exactly what she'd had in mind.

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering gutsyGumshoe [GG] --

uu: FAT BITCH.  
uu: I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.  
GG: Honestly, do you really think I'd want to play any sort of game with you?  
GG: You're intolerable!  
GG: And I'm not fat!  
uu: I SuPPOSE. THAT'S A MATTER OF OPINION.  
uu: AND IN MY OPINION. YOU ARE A FAT BITCH.  
uu: BuT HEY. TO EACH THEIR OWN.  
uu: I'M NOT JuDGING YOu. JuST BECAuSE YOu'RE DISGuSTING LOOKING.  
GG: Ugh, I'm logging off.  
uu: NO. WAIT.  
GG: Wait for what?   
GG: For you to insult me more?  
uu: LOOK. FORGET I SAID THOSE THINGS.  
uu: ABOuT YOu BEING A BITCH.  
uu: BuT NOT THE ONES. ABOuT YOu BEING FAT.   
uu: THOSE THINGS. WILL ALWAYS BE IRREFuTABLE TRuTH.  
GG: ...  
uu: FOR FuCK'S SAKE JANE.  
uu: CAN'T WE JuST. TALK.  
GG: No! Because you're always a jerk!  
uu: I WILL TRY. TO BE LESS OF A "JERK".  
uu: I'M JuST. BORED.  
uu: DIRK ISN'T ANSWERING MY MESSAGES. AND I'M SICK OF HIS STuPID FAKE SELF.  
GG: You mean the auto-responder?   
uu: YES. THAT ABOMINATION.  
GG: Hoo hoo! I love that guy. :B  
uu: SEE. YOu MAKE IT SO HARD.   
GG: Excuse me?!  
uu: CALM YOUR TITS. I WASN'T DONE TYPING.  
uu: YOu MAKE IT SO HARD. TO BE NICE TO YOu.  
uu: IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY.  
uu: ALTHOuGH. I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM. NOR DENY.  
uu: THAT OTHER THING.  
GG: You're disgusting, honestly.  
GG: I can't believe I'm still talking to you.  
uu: BuT YOu ARE. BECAuSE. YOu ARE JuST AS BORED AS I AM.  
uu: NONE OF YOuR SHITTY FRIENDS. ARE ONLINE.  
uu: I'M ALL YOu HAVE. OTHERWISE. YOu WILL BE SAD AND ALONE.  
uu: WHICH IS HOW YOu SHOuLD BE.  
GG: If I should be sad and alone, why are you talking to me?  
GG: If I really didn't deserve anyone's company, you wouldn't bother!  
uu: BECAuSE. I AM A NICE GuY, JANE. AND ALSO. BECAuSE I CONSIDER uS.  
uu: "FRIENDSFKLFJGLDGKJ."  
GG: We're not friends!  
uu: THEN WHY ARE YOu. STILL TALKING TO ME.  
uu: CHECKMATE, BITCH.  
GG: ...  
GG: Fine!   
GG: I'm going to take a shower, and stop talking to you.  
uu: DON'T FORGET. TO TAKE PICTuRES.   
GG: Groan.

\-- gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased pestering undyingUmbrage [uu] --

As much as she hated to admit it, Jane left the conversation with no less than half a smile. For someone who was typically intolerable, that conversation hadn't been so bad. It had almost been like a playful battle of wits... That is, if Caliborn had any wits to speak of, which he most certainly did not! Sure, he had been just as shitty and abusive as he normally was... But at least she wasn't alone while her friends all seemed to have better things to do.


	5. Jane/Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane♦Roxy
> 
> We cannot think of a time that is oceanless  
> Or of an ocean not littered with wastage  
> Or of a future that is not liable  
> Like the past, to have no destination.  
> —T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets, The Dry Salvages II

It was Sunday morning, and Roxy Lalonde was nothing if not hung over. Fortunately for her, she was hung over on her best friend's couch, and Jane was making pancakes and had ever so kindly provided a bucket just in case Roxy felt the need to puke again. 

Roxy had shown up at Jane's doorstep at 3 AM the night before (or early that morning?), drunker than Jane had ever seen her, and crying and blubbering like a confused child. At first, Jane had been reluctant to let her in, not quite sure how to act around a drunk Roxy -- usually, when the Lalonde was drunk, she did it away from Jane, knowing that she was uncomfortable with it. Roxy's tears had sufficed, however, to prove to Jane that this was important. Within seconds, she knew that Roxy wouldn't have shown up here like this if it wasn't an urgent best friend need.

And so Jane had listened while Roxy cried about a fight with Dirk that Jane still didn't quite understand all the details of. From what she could tell, Roxy had met someone -- a mermaid, maybe? Was Roxy on drugs now on top of the booze? -- who'd brought her attention to all the litter in the ocean, and Roxy had brought it up to Dirk, seeing as Dirk lived in a shoreside apartment building with his bro, or something. Jane still wasn't quite sure where Dirk lived, but he described it as surrounded by ocean breeze when they'd discussed her possibly visiting one day.

"I can't -- we can't -- I mean, the ocean is most of the -- most off the Earth, Janey --" Roxy had blubbered. Jane had simply listened and nodded and rubbed her back, despite having no real idea what she was talking about. "An' if we're throwin' litter an' shit in there, an' the fish -- you shoulda seen him, Janey, he was SO COOL -- an' Dirk was just -- all he said was he didn't care -- about the ocean an' the fishies an' the kid with the fins --"

After that, Roxy had devolved into a lot of blubbering, and she'd puked on Jane's shirt and passed out against her. She had to fight herself not to be annoyed about the puke, and had laid Roxy down carefully on the couch, covering her with a blanket and placing a bucket nearby so that there wouldn't be stains on the carpet for her dad to find.

Now that Roxy was awake and in apparent pain, she hadn't brought up last night's debacle again, and Jane hadn't either. Presenting the pancakes to her friend on a plate, she smiled, and Roxy smiled back, and Jane knew that she had done what she needed to. Her BFFsy would be okay, and that meant that so would she. Of course, Jane intended to get the story from Dirk later when they video chatted, and possibly have a few words with him about hurting Roxy, but for now, everything was wonderful and they laughed and ate pancakes for the better part of the morning, syrup stains on the polished wood coffee table be damned.


	6. Latula/Mituna & Latula/Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mituna♥Latula
> 
> "It's cool, you can have other girls, I like girls. Darla." - Samantha James (Anna Faris), Just Friends

You remember when Roxy started visiting your dream bubble. You don't remember when it became commonplace for the pair of you to play video games wearing nothing but t-shirts and underwear. Sure, it was more comfortable, but then you started sitting closer when you played, too, and closer still, until almost always one of you was in the other's lap. You don't remember how that happened, either, but it did, and you're starting to feel guilty. 

Sometimes, she'll kiss you on the cheek and laugh, and you're not sure what she means by it, but you do know that you can't do anything about it if she means what you think (and maybe hope) she means. You've got Mituna to worry about, and after the debacle with Kankri, you're not about to repeat your mistakes. So you dealt with it. You handled it, took everything in stride, trying not to advance things beyond what they already were.

You don't remember how you ended up making out with her on the floor, GAME OVER flashing on the screen, controllers abandoned on the floor, you swear. But you do remember Mituna walking in, you heard his footsteps and you panicked. You jumped up, on your feet in half a second, and gave him the most apologetic look you could muster with Roxy's black lipstick smeared all over your lips.

"Noooo, why'd you sthooopth," he whined, and you were speechless. What? Wasn't he mad? Hurt?

"Tunez, I'm sorry --" you started to apologize. He was going to be so upset, and you were going to lose the friend you had found in Roxy. Much to your surprise, though, he cut you off, shaking his head.

"It'sth oka-okiesth Tulip. You can havesth other girlsthhhh. I liiiike girlsth." He grinned wide, and you could almost picture his eyebrows waggling under his helmet's visor. You couldn't help but laugh, and Roxy laughed, and Tuna laughed, too, though you weren't sure if it was because he thought it was funny or just because you and Roxy were laughing.

He took a few steps closer to you before flopping himself over on the nearby recliner. He looked at you expectantly, and you shared a look of confusion and hesitation with Roxy before you both looked back to him, and he was grinning. 

"Weeeeelll?! What'sth you waiting for? NOW KISSTH!" he said, his voice giddy, and you and Roxy both laughed before happily complying with his demands.


	7. Auto-Responder/Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Auto-Responder♥Roxy
> 
> "It's an altar to the horse god."—One of the many NKIs that the robot of robotfindskitten may find

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --

TG: eyyy what r u doin  
TT: Dirk's in the shower, but I'm working on a website.  
TG: oooooh  
TG: what kinda website u makin  
TG: can i see??  
TT: You can see it when it's done, sure.  
TT: It's a secret until then, though.  
TT: Obligatory wonk.  
TG: lmao fiiiien  
TG: i dont see the point in makin a website tho  
TG: the only ppl gonna see it r me & dirky & maybe jane n jaek  
TT: So? It's important to me.  
TT: Very personal, you know.  
TG: jfc i cant even tell if ur bein sarcastic or if this is actually important 2 u  
TT: Precisely.  
TT: Obligatory wonk. Again.  
TG: lol nooo if its imporntant i want 2 kno  
TG: *wait nah that word chx out  
TG: *in fact it is even better that way  
TG: *petition 2 get that word in the next edition of merriam-webster  
TT: Hells yeah. I'd sign that petition.  
TT: As for the question, I'd most definitely say that this website is imporntant to me.  
TT: I don't know about important, though.  
TT: You know. The ironies.  
TG: ah yes the ironies  
TG: how they haunt me in my conquest 4 meaningful convo w u & dirk  
TG: *strokes beard thoughtfully*  
TT: Strokes beard? You have a beard now?  
TG: i have always had a beard  
TG: the beard was never in question  
TG: & u have always found my beard incredibly sexxxy ;)  
TG: wonk  
TT: Of course I have.   
TT: I find all of you incredibly sexy. Who am I to exclude your beard?  
TT: Arguably, it's your best feature. So soft.  
TG: lololo u wanna kiss it & love it   
TT: Of course. I'll have to remember to incorporate the beard next time we RP.  
TG: ooooh mr auto responder ooooh  
TG: i cant wait  
TT: I would do it now, but I'm almost done with this website. It's gonna be totally fucking awesome.  
TG: wow tht was fast  
TG: ur like speed codin  
TT: The perks of being a supercomputer.  
TT: It's up. Wanna see it?  
TG: obvs i want 2 see it  
TT: http://www.abraxas.com  
TG: omfg  
TG: wtf is this  
TG: is that me w a beard ridin that 1 horse w the huge dong???  
TT: It's an altar to the horse gods.  
TT: Also, yes. Yes it is.  
TG: omfg hal  
TG: i cant even w u sometimes  
TG: i need a drink  
TT: It seems you can't even with me.  
TT: Mission accomplished.  
TG: whatevs loser  
TG: imma go get some junk food & booze   
TG: latersss <33  
TT: <3

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --


	8. Dirk/Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk♦Roxy
> 
> "We've done some pretty fucked up shit in our time but this... I mean, we're destroying an innocent girl. You do realize that?" — Cruel Intentions

You know it's necessary. It's necessary and it hurts, it hurts because you loved her, you still do love her and she was your everything for so long and now she's just this... She's this. You and Roxy have tried everything you can do to bring her back, make her normal again, bring back your Jane, but you can't. That fucking tiara is so ingrained in her brain and she's just going to kill all of you if you take it off, she's just going to kill everyone and she won't ever be the Jane you fell for ever ever again and God, it hurts.

You know you have to do it, you know it's the only way, but you have to make sure, you have to ask Roxy again just in case there's some better way other than keeping Jane locked up like this and removing the tiaratop by force. "Come on, Roxy," you say, your voice practically pleading. "We've done some pretty fucked up shit for this game, but don't you think this is taking it a little too far? She's our friend. If it weren't for that piece of shit Crocker tech, she'd still just be innocent Jane, we're destroying an innocent girl here. You know that, right?"

Roxy just sighs and nods solemnly. "I know, Dirk, but we gotta. If we don't do it, the batterwitch is just gonna make her kill us all, an' then it's all for nothin'. We've tried everything. You know I wouldn't do this unless it was absolutely necessary, right?"

Now it's your turn to nod. You could cut the tension in the air with your sword if you had the motivation to draw it. You can tell that you're both choking back tears, holding back your urge to save her, just let her out of the cell and let her kill you all just so you don't have to go through with this. But you know better than that. If you let her kill you, then you're just another set of doomed timeline kids, and some other versions of yourselves will have to make this decision. Better just to make it. Better you than those unfortunate other versions of yourself.

"All right," you say, accompanied by a deep breath. "Let's do this." You steel yourself, casting a glance to the button that'll send all the shuriken you could afford to alchemize straight at Jane. There's no way it won't cut her to smithereens, which you'll then press another button to set fire to so she can't come back to life. Neither of you is quite sure if she can regenerate herself like that, but you aren't taking risks.

Roxy takes your hand in hers and squeezes. "We'll do it together," she says with a smile you know she doesn't mean. You don't smile back. Instead, you just step forward, take a deep breath, and with the hand Roxy's is entwined with, you press the button. You try to ignore the screams as Jane's cut to pieces, and Roxy's hand is the one that guides yours to the button that'll set off the fire. The screams have stopped now. Roxy hesitates. You take your hands the rest of the way and slam down on the button.

You look at each other, neither of you saying anything; but you both know it was for the best.


End file.
